It seems that a few
weeks ago, I was thinking of New Year’s resolutions. Now, the months have flown by and taken Easter with them.
The year relentlessly does its job with ruthless impartiality to give us each
day just twenty-four hours.
At the start of the
year, I planned for so much but became becalmed by yet another transition.
Forming a new relationship is not always an unmixed blessing. The debris of
past failures seemed really gone until I realize that I’m no longer as trusting,
accepting or hopeful as before. Experience requires change to grow but I truly
wonder if my decisions are not influenced by my mistakes rather than by judgment.
It is so hard to be really impartial in the aftermath of personal experience.
When I’m inclined
to doubt someone because it is risk to believe, when I question rather than
accept, when I probe under the pleasant surface to identify potential conflicts,
I know that I’m using the past as the meter of truth. This yardstick is not
necessarily unreliable. After all, my history teaches me. However, every true
measurement is based on an objective standard. Jesus commands us to love our enemies, to do well to those
who seek to exploit us, to forgive times without number, to turn the other
cheek. I do think that I have the right to protect my emotional health but not
at the cost of becoming distrustful, cynical or hard-hearted.
