A new yardstick

It seems that a few weeks ago, I was thinking of New Year’s resolutions.  Now, the months have flown by and taken Easter with them. The year relentlessly does its job with ruthless impartiality to give us each day just twenty-four hours.

At the start of the year, I planned for so much but became becalmed by yet another transition. Forming a new relationship is not always an unmixed blessing. The debris of past failures seemed really gone until I realize that I’m no longer as trusting, accepting or hopeful as before. Experience requires change to grow but I truly wonder if my decisions are not influenced by my mistakes rather than by judgment. It is so hard to be really impartial in the aftermath of personal experience.

When I’m inclined to doubt someone because it is risk to believe, when I question rather than accept, when I probe under the pleasant surface to identify potential conflicts, I know that I’m using the past as the meter of truth. This yardstick is not necessarily unreliable. After all, my history teaches me. However, every true measurement is based on an objective standard.  Jesus commands us to love our enemies, to do well to those who seek to exploit us, to forgive times without number, to turn the other cheek. I do think that I have the right to protect my emotional health but not at the cost of becoming distrustful, cynical or hard-hearted.

I realize that however, cautious I am, I can and do make mistakes.  I am still dependent on God’s love and protection.  It is His intention that I live a life of trust and hope, not crushed by failure or limited by fears. Therefore, I will open my heart and my life to the challenge of the new.